Starbucks closes stores, yuppies hardest hit.

A “yuppie”, by my definition, is anyone stupid enough to pay $3 for a cup of coffee. RT-D:

Five Starbucks outlets in Virginia are among the 600 company-owned stores that the coffee retailing giant plans to close.

No Richmond-area stores are on the closure list released yesterday by the Seattle-based company.

The underperforming Virginia stores that Starbucks said it is closing are at Spotsylvania Towne Centre in Fredericksburg, Madison Crescent in Gainesville, the Power Plant in Hampton, Patrick Henry Mall in Newport News and Stonewall Plaza in Winchester.

Starbucks said it will begin closing targeted stores this month.

There are three things I’m proud of in my life: a) I have never had a cup of Starbucks coffee, b) I have never set foot inside a Starbucks, and c) I have never seen an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

I have a question: Who knew the Spotsylvania Mall (or Towne Centre) was still around?

Christ, I haven’t been in there in years.

And remember that coffee is #1 on Stuff White People Like.

2 thoughts on “Starbucks closes stores, yuppies hardest hit.”

  1. That particular Starbucks has always been packed every time I’ve been there over the years. It’s hard to believe it’s worse performing than the Starbucks in the new Giant parking lot down the street that has another Starbucks in the Giant 300 yards away.

    BTW, a cup of coffee has never cost $3 at Starbucks. The foo-foo drinks do. A cup of coffee is $1.50 or so, pretty much the same price as Dunkin’ Donuts or anywhere else. Although actually, the best coffee for the price is at WaWa.

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